Bah Humbug?

I feel like Scrooge this Christmas. Before Bonnie was born I started planning/buying all the traditions I wanted to start. We got our first tree, ornaments, stockings, etc. I got the nativity scene I grew up with from my Dad. We decorated and I have very fond memories of sitting in the living room by the light of the Christmas tree, pregnant and happy.

Until Thanksgiving I had every intention of setting up and decorating our Christmas tree again this year. However, the day after came and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Bonnie is all over the place now, and gets into everything. I just couldn't find the energy to: 1) Put up the tree and 2) Protect the tree from her on a daily basis. So I made the decision to skip it this year. Grandma has a tree that Bonnie sees every day, and she can handle the hassle of keeping her off that tree :). I thought, I'll at least hang the stockings but then realized my supplies were in the attic and well that was more effort then I cared to expend, even telling Johnathan to get them was too much effort. So no decorations for us this year.

Then the decision was made to not buy Bonnie anything for Christmas. The renters we had in our townhouse moved out at the end of August and it's been empty ever since. We ripped out the carpet on the first floor and installed laminate, which took us a while (it's busy working, taking care of baby, etc). Once we made the decision to use a property management company things started moving faster. We had them finish the repairs, do some painting, do the cleaning, etc. We finally have a contract and we're excited but due to fees etc we won't see any rental income for a couple of months. All of that said to let you know that there's just not extra money floating around for extra Christmas expenses.

I tell myself Bonnie is too young to even know what's going on or that she's "missing out" on anything. Plus the rest of her family will have her covered, we don't need to buy her anything. Somehow it doesn't make me feel any better. I know it's the right decision, and I'm standing behind it but I suppose the consumerism tied to Christmas has dug it's claws into me. It feels wrong not to buy her something. Even though we've been buying her somethings since the day she was born.

I'm not even sure how Christmas decor will pan out next year, having another new little one around. But I do feel that by that time Bonnie might start to understand Christmas more and we can do more and hopefully afford more. We've decided to adopt a new philosophy to gift giving for our children for birthday and Christmas. The rule of four: 1) Something they want, 2) Something they need, 3) Something to wear, 4) Something to read. I'm excited for that and that's something to look forward to.

But I still feel like Scrooge, or maybe the Grinch after he stole Christmas. But if the Grinch taught us anything it's that the things of Christmas don't matter, it's the spirit. I really need to let this guilt go, at least the spirit is still here. The joy of spending time with family and friends.