Sugar Issues, Sounds Fun but It's Not!

Since I've last posted I've had a few doctors appointments, I'm at once a week these days. At each appointment I have an ultrasound and an non-stress test. In each visit and test Baby B has tested very well. On the biophysical she scores 8 each time. And in her non-stress test her heartbeat is strong. They said I had a few contractions on the Dec. 23rd NST so they checked my cervix. She said it was softening but no big change, which is about right for how far along I am.

One development in the Dec. 23rd appointment was that Dr. N continues to be concerned that my fasting blood sugars haven't been cooperating. She said she was going to reach out to my endocrinologist (Dr. S) to discuss, and she insinuated that she might want to hospitalize me to get it under control. That feels very drastic to me. It's not like Baby B is measuring very large and my blood sugar is pretty level all the rest of the time. Dr. S called me that night to discuss and asked that I start testing my blood sugar in the middle of the night and earlier in the morning. I suppose lucky for me, my sleeping is so erratic I don't even have to set an alarm to wake up at 2 or 3am because I do it naturally. He wanted to track if I'm high in the middle of the night too. If so, he's going to recommend a get put on an insulin pump to control my levels better. Honestly, I feel like both hospitalization and an insulin pump are a bit drastic considering how close I am to delivery.

I'd be lieing if I didn't say this whole situation has caused me quite a bit of stress, and I've had moments where I've cried because my blood sugar wasn't where I'd want it to be. On top of that, my bedtime insulin had to change because my insurance company won't cover what I'd been taking anymore. The kind I have to take now requires a syringe instead of using a pen. Plus the only needle they carry is twice as long as what I'd been using. I didn't cry about that change, but I was pretty angry about it. I now have been taking about 70 units at bedtime splitting them into two shots with the hopes that my body will take it better. The last few nights my blood sugar has been much better. Although a few times it was really low in the middle of the night so I ate something to be sure I didn't get too severe of low blood sugar.

I suppose we'll see how all that develops. In the meantime, the holidays were nice and relaxing. Johnathan and I had a few days of complete laziness that included watching a lot of Netflix. There have been a few moments of me not feeling well, but that probably just comes along with the late pregnancy territory.

Baby B 35w4days. She's a big fan of having her foot by her face.

Due Date: January 30, 2012. 32 more days! Depending on how things develop, we'll see if it's earlier.

Weight Gain: I've gained about 14 lbs.

Symptoms: Getting tired quicker (had to leave the in laws Christmas party at 11 while everyone else kept partying on), sleeping back pain, and stupid heart burn (this is the worst!) . She's started pushing on me in uncomfortable ways, last night it was the ribs (and just when I had been thinking how lucky I was not to have that issue).

Cravings/Aversions: Still crunching away on ice. There are other cravings that involve things I can't have, so it's not exactly something I indulge in.

Sleep: Not only do I wake up regularly to go to the bathroom and/or test my blood sugar, but I deal with the acid reflux waking me up and/or just not being able to sleep. Anyone who says catch up on your sleep now, must not remember how hard that can be.

I am loving: My current vacation time. Been off since Dec. 21 and won't go back until Jan. 3. Johnathan and I have had great opportunity to spend time together.

I miss: Not thinking about my food so much, putting my shoes on without effort, and rolling over without effort.

I am looking forward to: My next ultrasound on Jan. 3rd. They'll weigh her again then.

Best thing about this week: Relaxing as much as I can.

Milestones: Hmm not sure there has been one.

Movement: Her movements are less kicks and more just moving around. I guess she doesn't have much room to kick or punch.

It's a...: girl!

Heart Burn: Ugh, so much! I'm starting to have favorite Tums flavors (peppermint). I've also started using Gaviscon before bedtime. It does help with the acid, even if it is gross.

Belly button in or out?: Eh, it's a weird hybrid. I will admit to putting bandaids on my belly button to keep the poke out down to a minimum :).

Labor signs?: Nothing serious. I've started having some Braxton Hicks contractions, but they're weird and seem to last longer than I would expect. I'm nervous I won't know the real thing when it starts.

Warning!! The Stretch continues...

Look at how big it's getting!! Oh, and the belly is bigger too :). I guess those two things go hand in hand. They're right, after you've had a baby you won't be the same again. The best we can hope for is to accept it gracefully and realize that the sacrifice has a purpose.

 “Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice, and is never the result of selfishness.” -Napoleon Hill

This, That, and the Baby

I think I'm going to dedicate this post to a few random thoughts I've had lately and a few doctors appointments that I've had.

• I know people mean well when they tell a pregnant woman that her and her husband will have a beautiful baby, but what does it mean?! Of course you're not going to look at a pregnant woman and say, "You're going to have such an ugly baby." Oh, people don't have a problem knocking your baby's name, that's within bounds, but I don't think anyone would be so bold as to insult how your child will look. I'm not worried, of course we'll have a beautiful baby :) but it was just a thought I had.
• In the quiet times, when I'm reading or watching tv or just being I sometimes have small moments of panic. I'm so excited for Baby B and really can't wait to meet her but those moments really bring home the fact that my life will never be the same. When I get those quiet moments again, they'll be few and far between. The era of ME will be over. Everyone goes through this, I'm sure. And I know that my love of her will take over any feeling of "loss" that, right now, I think I'll feel. But I will miss those times, a little :).
• Most women don't plan to deliver until their due date or after. Because of my diabetes I know I won't go past my due date, but I know that going early is a real possibility too. That's causing me a bit of stress, not really knowing when I'll deliver. It makes me write off all of January and makes me feel so much pressure to get things ready before then. Baby B has been developing perfectly, and isn't even too big so I don't know why I think I'll go early. But one thing I've learned from this gestational diabetes process is I can't control what will happen. If you know me at all, I like control. Losing it is hard on me.
• I had my monthly appointment with my endocrinologist on Thursday. As you know, I've been having issues with my fasting blood sugars being too high so we mostly discussed that. My a1c is 5 which is still non-diabetic so that's good. It means my fasting blood sugars aren't high for very long. He thinks my bedtime insulin just isn't holding it's own for long enough. So he's asked me to test earlier and eat breakfast earlier. He casually mentioned that if I was high for longer the next step would be an insulin pump, which I can say scared me. With only 7 more weeks to go, I think I'd have to fight that. Especially since I won't have to take insulin after I deliver. Anyway, we're just keeping on with the normal process. Insulin at the meals and bedtime, just increasing at bedtime as necessary. He said I'm not perfect, but I'm as close as can be expected.
• I had my weekly visit to the OB on Friday for an ultrasound and non-stress test. I was 10 minutes late which was pretty stressful for me. I think that contributed to my blood pressure being higher than normal. Luckily it wasn't outside of the accepted range. The ultrasound included measuring her for size and doing a biophysical profile. The biophysical is when the sonographer watches the baby for certain movement and scores her from 1-8. If she scores below a 6 I'd have to go to the hospital for more observation. Baby B scored an 8. Her measurements were about a week and a half ahead which is fine and honestly I'm not surprised. Before we visited the doctor for the first time we thought we were a week ahead of what they settled on anyway. Baby B weighed 5 lbs 9 oz! But the best reveal at the ultrasound was that she has HAIR! The NST took longer than normal because Baby B was asleep and didn't seem to want to wake up. They like to see higher heart rates and more movement. They buzzed her three times and it took the last one to get her going a little bit. Next week I'll make sure and have some caffeine before I go in. 

It's hard to see, but it's the hair proof!

33 weeks (8.5 months)

Due Date: January 30, 2012. 44 more days!

Weight Gain: I've gained about 12 lbs. I weighed 2 lbs more than my last appointment. However, the baby also gained 2 lbs so I'm thinking it's all her.

Symptoms: Starting to get tired quicker, sleeping back pain, and stupid heart burn (this is the worst!) . The bathroom is my BFF what with all the visits I've been making to it.

Cravings/Aversions: Still crunching away on ice. There are other cravings that involve things I can't have, so it's not exactly something I indulge in.

Sleep: Starting to get worse. I wake up far more often especially around 1am. It's weird that I find I wake up around the same times every night.

I am loving: Knowing that Baby B is growing and developing as she should.

I miss: Not thinking about my food so much, putting my shoes on without effort, and rolling over without effort.

I am looking forward to: The hospital tour tomorrow.

Best thing about this week: Learning about Baby B's hair! It was long enough to be floating in the amniotic fluid. Also, we found the pack and play we registered for on sale.

Milestones: We picked up the crib yesterday. Now if only we (Johnathan) can get motivated enough to put it together. They tend to be a pain!

Movement: Her movements are less kicks and more just moving around. I guess she doesn't have much room to kick or punch.

It's a...: girl!

Heart Burn: Ugh, so much! I'm starting to have favorite Tums flavors (peppermint).

Belly button in or out?: In still. But the edge is poking out in a funny way, which almost gives the appearance of an outtie. I gotta say, it's rare to get such an in depth look at the bottom of your belly button.

Labor signs?: Nope, not even Braxton Hicks contractions

When It Showers It Pours...

This has been a big week for me! Sunday I finally had my baby shower and today I had my first non-stress test at the OB (I have to get another on Thursday but I'll get into that later).

My aunt, mother-in-law, and 2 friends pooled their resources to throw the baby shower for me at my aunt's house. There was food, and games, and presents. An all around good time. I had the biggest slice of cake imaginable, which I'm sure wasn't good for my diabetes but it sure was delicious! We got a lot of things that we needed and some things we didn't need but love all the more. Of course, being the type A personality that I am I came home and made a list of all the things we still need and will buy ourselves, along with prices listed. It never hurts to be prepared! I feel like the baby shower was my last big hurdle before the baby comes, now I'm feeling all kinds of pressure to get everything done before she comes. I'll share pictures of the event once I get my hands on them.

Today's non-stress test was the first for me. Basically they hook some things to your belly and track the baby's heartbeat and any contractions for 20 minutes. I push a button every time I feel her move. They just want to be sure things are ticking along with her. When we started her heartbeat was between 140 - 145 and she wasn't really moving. I warned the nurse that she doesn't move a whole lot in the morning. The nurse came in after a few minutes and said, "Yep, she's sleeping" and pulled out a vibrating buzzer thing. She put it to my belly for a few seconds and Baby B jolted awake! Her heartbeat jumped to 165 and she started moving a lot. I felt kinda bad for her. Who wants to be woken up that way!? Her results over the 20 minute period were good, with no concerns.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of being honest with my OB about my fasting blood sugars. They haven't been cooperating for months now. They're supposed to be below 90 and I'm lucky if I get that result twice a week. Generally it's in the 90s and sometimes in the low hundreds. My endocrinologist and I have been trying our best to get it under control with my bedtime insulin (I'm up to 54 units right now), but it's just not working. My overall blood sugar is good, but the fasting is an issue.

Dr. N heard that and decided we need to monitor the baby more closely. She wants me to have 2 non-stress tests a week, unless I have an ultrasound then I'll only need one non-stress test that week. So we've scheduled another NST for this week, and ultrasound and NST for next week and the week after that. She said they usually don't schedule NSTs on Friday's in case they have to admit the patient to the hospital, which opens up a whole other can of worms in my mind. I'm not worried about Baby B, she's been healthy this whole time. And I don't think she'll have to be delivered in 2011 but what if!? We're totally not prepared for that! I know it's better safe then sorry, but it's just a little overwhelming so early in my third trimester.

THANK GOD for my work. If I didn't work for such a good company I'd be stressed about all the time out of work I have to take. But they are so easy-going and flexible with my schedule. I cannot imagine what women do when they don't have that kind of support.



32 weeks and smaller than the Christmas tree!

Due Date: January 30, 2012. 55 more days!

Weight Gain: I've gained about 10 lbs. I weighed 2 lbs more than on Nov. 25th but I was wearing high heel boots this time, so I'm thinking no weight gain.

Symptoms: Starting to get tired quicker, sleeping back pain, and stupid heart burn. The bathroom is my BFF what with all the visits I've been making to it.

Cravings/Aversions: I'm starting to crave bad foods. It's becoming harder and harder to resist. Also, ice! I can crunch on ice all day long!

Sleep: Starting to get worse. I wake up far more often.

I am loving: All the love I got at the baby shower!

I miss: Not thinking about my food so much.

I am looking forward to: Having this beautiful baby.

Best thing about this week: BABY SHOWER!!!!

Milestones: Being a little bit more prepared then we were last week.

Movement: We felt hiccups last week! It was fun and she didn't stop when Johnathan tried to feel.

It's a...: girl!

Heart Burn: Ugh, so much! I'm starting to have favorite Tums flavors. Really, that shouldn't happen!

Belly button in or out?: In still. But the edge is poking out in a funny way, which almost gives the appearance of an outtie. I gotta say, it's rare to get such an in depth look at the bottom of your belly button.

Labor signs?: Nope.

The Truth About Stretching

WARNING: If you're disturbed by belly pics and stretch marks, you may not want to read on

I think that every woman who is pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or dreams of someday being pregnant imagines herself with a perfect, beautiful belly. Like the ones you see in those Coco Butter commercials, all big and round and stretch mark free.

Unfortunately, that image isn't the reality for 50 - 90% of all pregnant women. And news flash, Coco Butter does NOT prevent stretch marks. So the women in their ads are just naturally blessed with stretchy skin (I know some of you are currently wishing some other heinous pregnancy issue on them, like severe morning sickness...oh that's just me!?!).

There wasn't really much hope for me in this situation. I started pregnancy with stretch marks on my belly from prior weight gain. Gluttony, happy marriage, graduate school, age, etc all contributed to my gain over the years which eventually lead to diabetes. Once I was diagnosed in August 2010 (the same day of my graduation dinner) I quickly lost about 30 lbs. Believe it or not, that still didn't bring me to the weight that is healthy, so I started my pregnancy "overweight" (I use quotations because it makes me feel better #comfortquotations) and with stretch marks.

As my belly got bigger with Baby B, to my complete surprise, my stretch marks started getting bigger too. And redder! Whoa! Where'd these come from!? Despite considering myself a rational person, I must have somewhere deep down still imagined that my belly would be picture perfect. I was mortified and embarrassed, in fact most women are and won't talk about it even though they're in the majority.

But something funny started happening. The bigger my belly got, the bigger my stretch marks got, the more proud I became of them. I think I commented to Johnathan, "These have gotten so gnarly I'm kinda proud of them." I think it ties back to my intrigue with scars and scar stories. We all have one scar or another, with an awesome story to go along with it. Try comparing scar stories with people sometime, it's a guaranteed good time had by all. Some of mine include: go-cart through a barbed wire fence and shovel through the knee while buried in the sand (thanks bro!).

So here I am, with these stretch marks that will most likely stay with me the rest of my life (like a scar). And the story behind it!? I lovingly grew, and sacrificed, and gave birth to the most beautiful little human being. The light and love of Johnathan and my life. The little girl that will change our lives forever. And this "scar"? It's just my badge of honor and my awesome story to tell... later.

     

Giving thanks...

We had a busy week! It was my bright idea to host Thanksgiving this year because we had a new bigger house and could manage it. Of course, I decided that before I knew I would be almost 8 months pregnant at Thanksgiving. Poor Johnathan had to do most of the work, although I tried my best to do my fair share. Regardless of all the hard work we put into it, we are so greatful to have the ability, opportunity, and fantastic friends and family to do this.

We spent Tuesday night doing a thorough cleaning. He mainly worked on the kitchen (because lets admit it, it's his domain not mine) and I spruced up the rest of the house. I swept, vacuumed, and steamed all our floors...among other things. Boy did my back hurt at the end of it! Which of course was made worse when I went to bed, because now when I sleep my lower right back starts hurting. We didn't just clean the common areas, but also the guest rooms because we were having our first serious house guests! My brother, his wife, their new baby, and her parents stayed. So those rooms had to be clean and set-up.

Wednesday evening we went to dinner with our house guests and then started prepping some food. I made my "famous" pumpkin pies and some scratch mashed potatoes (Pioneer Woman recipe). Johnathan prepped a lot of the appetizers that he wanted to make. I think he takes on too much, we didn't need all of those, but he loves doing it and so it's a must. He was up til 4 or so cooking and cleaning.

Thursday was the big day. We woke up and fixed breakfast for our guests: waffle, egg, cheese, and bacon sandwiches with a side of liver mush because my bro now lives in Texas and doesn't get it a lot. Then the real food prep began. We decided to make 2 turkeys because we were having 20 guests and wanted to ensure there was enough for everyone. Of course it was overkill but you live you learn. We had a lot of our guests bring food to help us out, and Johnathan's mom made a lot (green beans, pork loin, apple pies) and helped a lot by allowing one of the turkeys in her oven. It was loud, crazy, and fun.

The Menu
Appetizers- shrimp and asparagus in filo, deconstructed jalapeno poppers in filo, mushroom/spinach/cream cheese/sausage dip in filo, corn/peppers/onions/black beans/feta cheese dip with chips, and mini crab cakes (homemade)
Main- turkey, pork loin, gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans, homemade cranberry sauce, dressing, mac and cheese, cornbread (plain and spicy), and sweet potato casserole
Dessert- homemade apple pie and pumpkin pie

We also had a 3 month old and a 5 month old to nibble on and fawn over. Both of them are and were fantastic babies. They're my niece and nephew, so that puts the pressure on me to have a baby just as cute and just as mild mannered #bitingmyfingernails.

Johnathan worked so hard cooking and cleaning (I helped a little with the cleaning but was so tired). I'm hoping he had fun and doesn't just think back on all the hard work he put into it. He stayed up until 3:30 cleaning because he just can't bring himself to leave a mess like that. That wouldn't have been so bad if we didn't have to get up at 7:30 the next morning for an ultrasound.

I've been getting them about once a month to keep tabs on the baby's weight, just to be sure she's not getting too big (a complication with gestational diabetes). She was measuring about a week ahead, but the tech said they allow for up to 2.5 weeks ahead, so she's doing good. She weighs 3 lbs 12 oz which is the 45th percentile. So she's right on track, yay for a healthy baby!! She's been head down for a while, so let's hope she stays in that position and doesn't try to go breech. Also, my amniotic fluid, placenta, and cervix all looked great! There weren't as many fun shots to get of her, because the bigger they get the harder it is to see the whole picture. But Johnathan was able to be there again because he was off work, so that was nice! Even though he was like a zombie he was so tired.



This is at least the 3rd time we've caught her with her foot by her face. She seems to like playing with her feet.


Ok I've been slack and haven't taken any belly pics. I'm sure there's some to be seen from Thanksgiving, but I won't get my hands on those for a few weeks. But I can say, I looked dang good in em! :)

Due Date: January 30, 2012. We are almost 31 weeks along, 64 more days!

Weight Gain: I've gained about 10 lbs. It's always nerve wrecking weighing yourself the day after Thanksgiving, but I didn't notice any change in my weight from my endocrinology appt last week.

Symptoms: Starting to get tired quicker and sleeping back pain. I can sleep on my side, no problem because that's how I normally sleep. But I find now that when I wake up to go to the bathroom or whatever, that I have a sharp pain in my lower right back. It makes walking a bit difficult right away.

Cravings/Aversions: Yeah, I can't say I followed my diet plan during this week/weekend very well. Many times I didn't even test my blood sugar because I knew it wouldn't be pretty.

Sleep: Actually not too bad!

I am loving: Feeling her move every day!

I miss: Being able to get around easily. I swear I've hit a belly growth spurt over the last day or so, and I know it's only going to get bigger!

I am looking forward to: My baby shower, it's coming up next weekend!

Best thing about this week: Hanging out with our family and loving on some adorable babies!

Milestones: 3rd Trimester

Movement: She's a good little mover. My fav is when she moves my whole belly. But seriously, she'll be moving up a storm and I'll get Johnathan to put his hand on my belly and she stops. I'm wondering if she chills out when she hears me talk. I may start using sign language to get him to feel.

It's a...: girl!

Heart Burn: Ugh, so much! I regularly take Tums throughout the night. And I recently learned a valuable lesson about not making Doritos my bedtime snack.

Belly button in or out?: In still. But the edge is poking out in a funny way, which almost gives the appearance of an outtie. Grrrr.

Labor signs?: Nope. Just the way I want it, although that resolve is starting to waiver as I get further and further along.

And the beat goes on...

I had an endocrinologist (diabetes specialist) appointment yesterday. I have them once a month in addition to emailing him my blood sugar test results weekly. Honestly, I feel like these monthly appointments are a bit of a waste of my time but I'm nothing if not dutiful. Usually it's a matter of weighing me, checking my blood pressure, checking my feet (diabetics can have issues with their feet), going over my medicines, and he tells me what my lab results are from bloodtests I have done a few days before.

Nothing much to report. With boots on I weighed about 12 lbs above where I started at pregnancy. Blood pressure and heartrate seemed fine. He was happy with my bloodsugars and my A1C was 4.8 for the third month in a row, which is better than some non-diabetics. One good thing to come out of the appointment is that he told me I could start giving my insulin shots in my thighs. So that'll save me some pain!

Now, on to the fun stuff!

Someone once recommended playing music when pregnant and sleeping, so that the baby would hear. That way if you play it during the baby's bedtime they'll know it's time to sleep. Whether this works remains to be seen, but it did lead us to create a CD for Baby B. We call it B's Beats (her name is where the B is). We tried to stick with sootheing piano music, some classical and some modern. We picked either classical artists that we appreciate or modern songs that had some kind of meaning to us, silly or otherwise.

Today, I added one song to the end that has singing (the only one). It's called 'Love is You', written for our wedding by Mary Jo Crandall and Jamie Henderson. They are gifted song writers and I wanted a nice way to have 1 Corinthians 13 incorporated into the ceremony without the normal recitation snoozefest. This song was written to convey our love for one another. Baby B was created out of that love and will experience that love every day of her life. I hope this song will remind her of that every time she hears it.

The Playlist

1. Nocturne in G Minor- Chopin
2. November Rain- Piano Tribute Players (because I used to love it, and just for kicks)
3. Moonlight Sonata- Mozart
4. Can't Help Falling in Love- Steve Siu (Johnathan is a huge Elvis fan)
5. Prelude for piano No. 4 in E Minor- Chopin
6. First Time Ever I Saw Your Face- Steve Siu
7. Nocturne #2 in E Flat- Chopin
8. A Thousand Miles- Steve Siu (because there is a scene in the movie White Chicks that Johnathan loves involving this song)
9. Piano Sonata #14 in C Sharp- Beethoven
10. What a Wonderful World- Steve Siu
11. Piano Sonata #5 in G Major- Mozart
12. Yellow- Steve Siu
13. Clair de Lune- Laura Sullivan
14. The Prayer- David Foster (played while I walked down the aisle. plus an amazing song asking for God's blessing)
15. Love is You- Mary Jo Crandall and Jamie Henderson

This and that

While I wallowed in my grumpy mood yesterday (and worked) Johnathan worked really hard all day to get the nursery painted. It's about 98% complete, but looks fantastic. We're patting ourselves on the backs for choosing such a nice color.

It's Behr- Potentially Purple.

We're planning ahead! Figured we'd take advantage of after Halloween sales to snag a costume for Baby B next year. It's a surprise, but I'll give you a hint!

It's My Pregnancy and I'll Cry If I Want To

The day has just begun and it's already a rotten stinking day. I received an email from my endocrinologist overnight advising me to start taking insulin at lunch. I already take it at breakfast, dinner, and bedtime. I knew it would eventually happen at lunch too. As the pregnancy progresses it's normal to have to increase insulin intake. However, I didn't think that it was necessary yet. Yes, my blood sugars at lunch had been rising but they weren't over my limit of 130 yet. I guess he didn't like that they were going up, so now I have to take a shot then too.

It has gotten SO hard to take my shots. Half the time they hurt. Half the time they bleed. It takes all the willpower I have to just make my hand stab myself and hope it doesn't hurt. Three times a day was enough for me. Not only that, but it means I have to carry a needle with me every time I walk out of the house for a meal.

I know deep down it's my fault that I'm diabetic. I ate myself into this situation. Even though it's hereditary I could have held it off for longer. So at the end of the day, feeling sorry for myself shouldn't really be allowed. But I can't help it. I do feel sorry for myself. This sucks! I'll say it again, this sucks! That is all. *slight sobbing was involved in the writing of this blog*

The class where we decided the Cervix will henceforth be referred to as the Tactalneck (Archer reference)

On Saturday, Johnathan and I participated in what seems a rite of passage for those on the way to parenthood...the childbirth class. I know some people don't bother with it and I could have thought myself too knowledgeable already (what with all my blog reading) to go too. But I figure, ignorance isn't bliss in this scenario. I want to know as much as I possibly can so that I won't be tempted to "freak out" on the day. Plus Johnathan hasn't been reading blogs or watching shows, so it couldn't hurt for him to learn a thing or two.

We decided to attend the class at the local hospital because it was cheaper and closer, even though we're not going there for the delivery. Although it seems to be a very nice place we're going to go to NC, for several reasons. 1. My doctors are all based in NC and 2. I have a long familial history of being born in NC and I didn't want to break that.

The class was supposed to be from 8:30 - 2:30 but the instructor zoomed through it so we could get out by 12:30. Johnathan was NOT looking forward to being there for that long (I may have told him it was 8 hours at one point). But I'll give him credit, he went with an open mind and wasn't a grumpus. The instructor was a nurse named Patty. I think she said she'd been delivering babies for 20 years so she was very knowledgeable, and perky. She called herself an old hippy and you could definitely tell she was. You could tell she had certain opinions on things, but she didn't seem too pushy about it. She's had 9 children, all naturally, so you could tell where she landed in that area.

A few things she got us thinking about:

• List positive (allowable) and negative (not allowed) words or actions during labor
• Research leaving the vernix on the baby. This is the covering on the skin that protects the baby's skin in the womb. Some people want the baby bathed right away, but according to Patty some people leave the vernix on and it can benefit the baby's skin for years to come. Anyone out there have an opinion on this? Leaving it on or not?
• Things to pack: back massager, focal point photo, aromatherapy, a journal to keep track of the happenings, etc
• The wonders of pear juice...I'll leave that to your imagination

What would a childbirth class be without breathing exercises?! There was an entire segment where we had to snuggle up to our partner and practice deep breathing in and out. The room was quiet and dark. And Johnathan made a farting noise on one of the out breaths. I BURST out laughing. Tried to get myself under control and then burst out laughing again! Like tears streaming down my face kinda laughing. Patty said she wanted to be in our delivery room. I think she's right, we will have the funnest delivery room in the hospital.

There was also the obligatory childbirth video. I wasn't sure I wanted to see it in all it's glory, but I didn't look away. Yeah, it was gross but it was also beautiful. I'll admit I got a little teary eyed. Another girl in the class started sobbing, her husband looked back at me like "I don't know what's happening!". Can't really say if she was crying because it was beautiful or terrifying :). I've always told Johnathan that I'd like for him to stay up at my head during the delivery to keep a positive image of me. I think he's on the fence about his preference. I guess if he REALLY wants to he can look...IF he really wants to. #idon'twanthimto

On Tuesday I had another OB appointment, they've already got me on the 2 week schedule. Everything checked out beautifully, no concerns. My belly is measuring 29 which she says you can't do much better than that. The baby's heartbeat was in the 140s and my blood pressure was good. My next appointment in two weeks is for another ultrasound and we'll see another doctor in her practice, just in case she isn't available for delivery. I was able to schedule it the day after Thanksgiving so Johnathan can come too!

                                                                         27 Weeks 6 Days

Due Date: January 30, 2012. We've finally reached the 3rd trimester, 82 more days!

Weight Gain: I've gained about 8 lbs, 1 lbs since my last OB appt 2 weeks ago.

Symptoms: Had a hellacious leg cramp this morning. I had to have Johnathan massage it.

Cravings/Aversions: Not enjoying the strong garlic smell coming from our fridge every time it's opened. Johnathan will cut it and store it in a zip lock and a garlic saver and it still stinks up the fridge to high heaven.

Sleep: Actually not too bad!

I am loving: Feeling her move every day!

I miss: Being able to do my job properly without making boneheaded mistakes.

I am looking forward to: Our next ultrasound with Johnathan!

Best thing about this week: The childbirth class, oh and buying our first fake Christmas tree. Holiday traditions here we come!

Milestones: 3rd Trimester

Movement: Mostly around eatin time. She takes after me :)

It's a...: girl!

Heart Burn: A little. Nothing a little Tums can't handle, lovin the peppermint flavor!

Belly button in or out?: In….barely! Each week my innie is getting smaller and smaller.

Labor signs?: Nope. Just the way I want it!

Halloween and 3D ultrasounds....oh my!

This past weekend Johnathan and I participated in a surprise birthday/costume party. It was my first time dressing up for Halloween ever (or at least that I can remember). Growing up, we weren't allowed to celebrate Halloween which in addition to no trick or treating involved no school activities either. If there was a worksheet with a Halloween theme, I didn't have to do it. If we sang "Witches Brew" in music class, I had to step outside the room. One time we did one of those find words in other words exercises with "Happy Halloween", I got to use the phrase "Merry Christmas" instead (I wonder if these days it would have to be "Happy Holidays"?). I came up with the most words. The other kids complained because they thought I won because I had a different word. Which could be true, but I like to think it was my mental prowess :).

I think because I was raised that way, I hated October as a month and generally hated Halloween. But time moves on, we grow up, and perspectives change. My mental change probably started when my brother had kids and they celebrated Halloween. They are always so cute in their costumes! I started to feel that there can still be an innocence to Halloween if you control your environment. So this year it began for me!

Johnathan and I have already bought a little onesie for the baby for next year's Halloween that says "Daddy's Little Pumpkin". That was my first little step. Next was the costume party. The key as an adult female is to avoid the slutty costumes, plus I'm pregnant so that totally wouldn't have been appropriate. It's not often you're visibly pregnant during Halloween so we had to take advantage of that. We went as a redneck wedding couple, and boy was I comfy! It was a lot of fun!

                                                    Not the best pic, but realistic since I'm running my mouth

                                What you can't see are my slipper boots (this can also double as a 26 weeks preggo pic)

Yesterday, Johnathan's little sister and two neighbor kids (vampire, pirate, and piglet) stopped by for trick or treating. It was a lot of fun for me. They were my first trick or treaters ever, and my only ones since no one else came by. So cute though! The adults got some candy too.

In other Monday news, I had another ultrasound. This one was a fetal echocardiogram to make sure the baby's heart was developing properly. Apparently in gestational diabetes babies can develop heart issues (if the blood sugars aren't well controlled). Dr. N said that "the powers that be" were on the edge of not requiring this particular ultrasound, but since it was still in effect she recommended one for me. She pointed out that she had no reasons to worry about Baby B's heart because all the other ultrasounds didn't show any concerns. So I went to this appointment a little annoyed because I had just had an ultrasound last week. I know, I'm foolish because I should be overjoyed at any opportunity to see the baby in action.

I really liked the ultrasound tech! She was so enthusiastic from the start and because Baby B was so active she switched to 3D without me even asking! It was amazing to see her yawn and stick her tongue out in full view! The tech made me laugh out loud when she went to label her ear and typed "rear" instead. Baby B's heart looked super healthy and everything else checked out. Healthy baby on board!

                                                                She totally looks like Johnathan!

Due Date: January 30, 2012. According to my pregnancy app we have only 90 days to go!

Weight Gain: I've gained about 5-7 lbs. Have another OB appt on Nov. 8th so I'll know more then.

Symptoms: Feeling pretty good! This is the magic season, the second trimester. I sometimes feel something like growing pains, but that's nothing serious.

Cravings/Aversions: On Saturday we did a test kitchen on some Thanksgiving recipes we were considering making. We had a lot to do that day so we decided to go out for breakfast. Johnathan's mom and sister were going to Dunkin Donuts and asked us to join. I said no because it wasn't a safe place for me, breakfast is when I am most restricted on my diet (I'm only allowed 15 carbs). Our breakfast first plan fell through, so we ended up going there anyway. I was NOT happy (pregnancy hormones anyone!?). While standing in line I looked back at Carol and she was lovingly unwrapping a delicious pumpkin muffin... I came SO close to bursting into tears right there in line. I wanted all the "bad for me" things that morning! I'm sticking to my guns, but it's getting hard!
Sleep: It's not perfect, but it could be worse. I wake up a couple times a night to pee, but can usually fall back asleep quickly...unless Johnathan is snoring.

I am loving: Seeing Baby B's face in 3D!

I miss: Being able to put on socks without grunting and groaning.

I am looking forward to: Our baby birthing class this Saturday

I'm spazzing about: my fasting blood sugar...just a little

Best thing about this week: Seeing Baby B's face in 3D!

Milestones: 90 days to go!

Movement: Yes, happening pretty frequently! Looking forward to the inevitable hiccups.
It's a...: girl!

Heart Burn: A little. Nothing a little Tums can't handle

Belly button in or out?: In….barely! Each week my innie is getting smaller and smaller.

Labor signs?: Nope. Just the way I want it!

Mush for Brains

a.k.a- pregnancy brain, mommy brain, pregnancy amnesia, momnesia

Whatever you want to call it, I've got it! When you get pregnant you convince yourself that surely not every pregnant "issue" will strike you. Morning sickness, hope not. Swollen ankles, likely. Heartburn, there's a hot chance. Embarrassing "other" issues, probably. But pregnancy brain!? Ha, I laugh in the face of such accusations. I'm a smart lady, in fact I make sure Johnathan knows that on the regular (could be because he hates it...I'm just sayin). I'm sure there was even a small part of me that thought my brain power was just strong enough, that any deficit caused by pregnancy would go unnoticed by the general public (my adoring fans?). WRONG! In fact, my adoring husband notices and laughs at it daily (serves me right).

It started out with small things. I couldn't pull a word out of my head fast enough, so the silence (often on conference calls) would stretch past comfortable limits. Or I didn't see something that was in plain view (where's that dang remote?! Oh, on that completely empty dinner tray right in front of my face!?). Johnathan: "Babe, what did I ask you to remind me to do the other day?" Wendy: "What other day?"

But as of yesterday, I've reached a new low. I was watching TV, when a commercial came on. A lovely scene of crops covered in snow. Farmers walking around picking various vegetables while snow drifts down around them. Oh look peppers! Wow! This is idyllic! Who knew that veggies could grow in the winter snow!? I felt a small thrill at the beauty of it all. Has science taken us into a future where genetically altered veggies grow year round?

It takes until the very end of the commercial when the product is announced for me to realize that this isn't real! That veggies don't grow and aren't harvested in the snow. It's a Birds Eye frozen vegetable commercial: "It's Always Vegetable Season"

#hangsheadinshame

Now who's craving vegetables!? #pregnancycravings

In the beginning...

Ok, so the blog title is a bit of a misnomer. Yes, this is my FIRST blog post EVER, but it's certainly not the beginning of my journey to motherhood. Today I am actually 26 weeks 3 days pregnant, with only 96 more days to go! I know it's strange to start a blog in the middle of a pregnancy, in fact, I'm super jealous of other women's blogs that start with a picture of a positive pregnancy test (I don't have a picture of any of my !5!). I've always liked to write and thought that I had a knack for it but haven't ever taken it seriously. I thought I'd maybe start a blog once I had my first child because then I might have stories to tell. But then I got pregnant and started trolling the Internet for pregnant woman blogs. I wanted to gather experience and information from women in the thick of things who could give me an idea of what to expect...when expecting :). I've probably read close to 30 pregnancy/mommy blogs since June. I think I'm not going to look for any more. I've probably read almost every birth scenario possible, not including the ones I've seen on Baby's First Day (TLC). So I feel relatively prepared for what's to come, or as prepared as a person can be in this situation. Now the time has come for me to start documenting my own journey, for several reasons:

1. Maybe my unique situation can help another women who is pregnant and diabetic
2. I think my friends and family might like a little peek into what's going on around here
3. I want to remember this time in our lives, and maybe my children can come back and read these posts some day. I, more than anyone, know how beautiful it can be to have something of your/ your parent's story to embrace when they're not around

So here goes...

I had an ultrasound and OB appointment yesterday. An ultrasound in the 26th week of pregnancy isn't normal but since I'm diabetic they like to keep an eye on the baby's weight. Diabetes can cause the baby to grow too big, so they want to be sure things are progressing as they should. Since Johnathan had to work, I took Carol (his mother) along with me. Even though she's seen ultrasound pictures, I think there's nothing like being able to see the baby move to make it even more real. The baby was moving quite a bit, and had her feet in her hands just like last time. It seems to be her favorite past time. Carol said that Johnathan used to do that all the time, so that was a neat little tidbit of information. The ultrasound tech was able to get a really good face picture even though it wasn't 3D. Later that night I decided that she has Johnathan's eyes, or at least the shape of them. She measured at 2.3 lbs, which is about 6 days ahead. So nothing to worry about yet. The doctor visit itself was fine, uneventful. Carol seems to like Dr. N so that's good, can't have cat fights in the hospital :).

I've always liked Dr. N because she reminds me of a woman who lived in my neighborhood when I was growing up, who was my mother's best friend when my mother was alive. However, I have noticed a pattern of behavior with her, that rubs me the wrong way. She gets on my case about my blood sugar levels, even though I have an endocrinologist who advises me quite well on that. My blood sugars have been fantastic for a gestational diabetic, in fact they've been really good for a non-diabetic. My a1c which measures blood sugar levels over 3 months has been 4.8 for the last two months. That's better than most non-diabetics. But every time I see her, she has something negative to say about some freak result. I mentioned that my fasting blood sugars have been high lately. She asked what the highest reading has been and I said 120 (it's supposed to be below 90). She then proceeded to tell me that's too high and blahblahblah. I can't remember what she said because I shut down when she does that.  Of course I know it's too high! I beat myself up about it EVERY TIME I have a bad fasting result. The worst part of being hard on myself is that I can't do anything that I'm not already doing to fix it. I'm supposed to have a bedtime snack...I do. I'm supposed to take my meds at bedtime (Metformin pill and insulin shot)...I do. Up my insulin dose as my endocrinologist recommends each week...I do. I'm now at 39 units of insulin at bedtime, just to get my fasting blood sugars under control. The problem with being a pregnant diabetic is that as soon as the plecenta starts growing your endocrin system goes crazy. Meaning I can be doing all the right things: diet, excercise, meds and my blood sugar will still go out of wack. What I don't need is someone else to beat me up over something I can't control! Other than that, she's a peach! Sorry this post is so long, but it is the FIRST! I'll end with an ultrasound picture and a pregnancy survey to track my changes.

Due Date: January 30, 2012 (unless she gets too big and I have to be induced. The doctor told me I WILL NOT go past my due date because they won't let me)

Weight Gain: This is a tricky one to answer. Once I became pregnant I started on a diabetic diet which caused me to lose weight. I've only recently started gaining again. So if we're basing this off of my pre-pregnancy weight I've gained about 5-7 lbs.

Symptoms: Feeling pretty good! This is the magic season, the second trimester. I sometimes feel something like growing pains, but that's nothing serious.

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing specific. I'm getting bored with my diet though. I long for the days of not having to watch every dang thing I put in my mouth! Johnathan works all day on Sunday's so I try to use those days to indulge in random cravings (within diabetic reason).

Sleep: It's not perfect, but it could be worse. I wake up a couple times a night to pee, but can usually fall back asleep quickly...unless Johnathan is snoring.

I am loving: Being able to feel her move and kick. It brings such a peace of mind.

I miss: not counting carbs.

I am looking forward to: all of the holidays coming up! I couldn't have planned this pregnancy better! The last bit is always so slow because all you're looking forward to is the baby arriving. Well lucky me! I have things to look forward to before she comes. We're so busy that Johnathan suggested we buy a calendar. One with babies, puppies, and firemen

I'm spazzing about: my fasting blood sugar...just a little

Best thing about this week: getting to see our little girl again in the ultrasound

Milestones: I suppose the fact that we reached double digits in the days to go countdown

Movement: Yes, happening pretty frequently! Johnathan even gets to catch her sometimes.

It's a...: girl!

Exercise: Eh. I wasn't really doing much before the pregnancy so I didn't want to stress the bod. I walk Jericho up the street 3 times a day. That seems to do the trick.

Heart Burn: A little. Nothing a little Tums can't handle

Belly button in or out?: In….barely! Each week my innie is getting smaller and smaller.

Labor signs?: Nope. Just the way I want it!