Caroline Joy's Birth Story

You may think me a complete slacker because it's been 7 weeks since Caroline has been born, and yet no birth story has been written. But I'll have you know that I wrote half of the story out one handed on my cell phone while holding Bonnie during a nap. However she awoke suddenly, crying and I closed the app thinking it would save the draft...nope. I lost all that hard work and if you have ever typed a long message on an iPhone or parented two children you'll understand why it's taken me so long to get back to this.

So without further ado, below are the details of Caroline's birth. Oh and it's LONG!

As with Bonnie we were being induced early for Caroline too. We were to report to the hospital at 7pm on Monday, May 6th with serious baby business happening on May 7th. I had a hair appointment earlier in the day that Monday to get my color done (cause who knew when I'd have a chance to get it done again (still haven't)) and my hair straightened. Curly hair isn't conducive to long unwashed periods, so straightening it is my best option to not having Fraggle Rock hair at the hospital. I also got a pedicure, because I was about to push a tiny human out of my body, I deserved it!

Around 5pm Johnathan and I said goodbye to Bonnie for a few days, and headed off to Boston Market for dinner. It's where we ate before Bonnie was born so I was trying to keep the tradition going. Like last time we finished eating way too early so we went to a drug store and wandered around. Johnathan got some snacks for himself, and I bought a nightlight for our room so that I could see what I was doing during the many night wakings ahead of us.

When we checked into the hospital we were assigned our overnight nurse and she was super nice, so much better then our first nurse with Bonnie. We did all the paper work and she had someone come in to start my IVs. One on each arm. Left arm dedicated to Pitocin (to start contractions) and fluids. Right arm dedicated to insulin. The left arm was easy, but they had two failed attempts on my right arm that hurt quite a bit. Finally an older lady came in and managed to get one in. Unfortunately, this time the doctor on call wanted me to get the insulin going over night so I was hooked up immediately to both IV stands and also had the monitors on my stomach for contractions and heartbeat. That made going to the bathroom very difficult. Johnathan had to unhook each IV stand and my monitors. I would loop the monitors over my neck and we'd all wheel the stands into the bathroom with me. Needless to say I had to go to the bathroom a lot. Oh and they had to check my blood sugar every hour, so I was woken up to get a finger prick. The doc recommended I take Ambien, but I'm pretty crazy in my sleep without meds, I was too nervous to take it in the hospital. So I pretty much got no sleep.

They upped the Pitocin in the morning to get the labor going, and  my water was broken...things progressed this time much quicker than last. It helped that I was already 3cm dilated when I arrived. Because of that they told me I could get the epidural whenever I felt I needed it. Around lunchtime I started feeling uncomfortable so I asked for the epi. He had a few emergencies to deal with first so I had to wait a little. I was glad I knew to ask at the first sign of discomfort so that it wouldn't get unbearable before I could get some help. The anesthesiologist finally arrived and had the biggest Eastern European accent. It was actually hard to understand him, which made me nervous considering he was sticking a needle in my spine and I didn't want to misunderstand him and move when I shouldn't. The insertion went without problems, but almost immediately I started throwing up. I thought that my nausea during Bonnie's birth was due to the drugs I was given before the epidural, but it turns out it was the epi too. If I moved around too much I would throw up. It also made me groggy, so I was able to snooze a bit up until delivery time. Ah, and I could still feel some pain in my left side, so I kept pushing the epi button to try and fix it. It didn't seem to help so the doc came back in and gave me more. It took away the pain in my left side, but made my right side completely numb, I couldn't move my own leg.

They checked my progress around 3:30 and realized I was fully ready even though I didn't feel any pressure. We had to wait for my doctor to get back from her office, so we ended up waiting about an hour before she arrived for me to push. With Bonnie, the epi wasn't so strong so I could feel when to push and felt pressure in my pushes. But I was so doped up this time, I couldn't feel a thing. I didn't push very long, and out came Caroline at 4:53. They were able to lay her on me immediately because there was no meconium or cord issues. They whisked her away and took care of her, but I had her long enough to realize she looked nothing like Bonnie. While Bonnie was blond and fair skinned, Caroline had dark hair and skin. Ironically Bonnie is named after my family and takes after us. Caroline is named after his family and takes after them.

After she was measured (8lbs 4oz. 21 inches long) and given her tests we did skin to skin and she fed. It took a while before they took us to our new room because my legs were still numb. I also had to get another catheter put in because I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself for some reason. Luckily I couldn't feel it.

We spent one more day in the hospital and then got to escape on Thursday, May 9th. We don't like spending more time in the hospital then necessary, because they are always knocking and bothering and poking and prodding. They tell you to get sleep but it's near impossible in that environment. As we left I asked the pianist in the lobby to play Clair de Lune while I waited for Johnathan to pull the car around. As with Bonnie I sat there listening to it while Caroline held my finger.

If I didn't have diabetes I could see labor and delivery being fairly easy. But because I have all of the extra procedures to follow it's so annoying. It's the stuff before the pushing out the baby part that makes me not want to do it again.

Since we've been home with Caroline, things have gone better than I expected. It's a Godsend to have Johnathan home with me or else I'd have gone mad. The hospital said I couldn't pick Bonnie up for a month, so he did everything in regards to her. Because of that, they are super close now. She calls for him all the time now, and I love how much she loves him. I was left to take care of Caroline and she's been such a joy. Either she's an easier baby than Bonnie was, or I'm just better at this Mommy thing. The first week or so she slept A LOT, like more than the doctors say babies should, but the pediatrician didn't seem concerned. At first I thought I was going to have to sleep with her on me like Bonnie, but I quickly devised something. We have a travel crib in our bedroom, so I put the changing pad that Bonnie slept on into the crib to give her some elevation and it's worked.

Bonnie goes to bed at 7 and we keep Caroline out in the living room with us until our bedtime, where she usually sleeps in her swing or car seat. We go to bed around 11 and we change Caroline and feed her. Once she's laid down she sleeps 3 or 4 hours. Gets another change/feed and sleeps another 3 or 4 hours. So we're only getting up once around 3 and again around 6 or 7. When Bonnie wakes up, Johnathan gets her up and takes care of her until I get up with Caroline. Carol still takes Bonnie during the week, so Johnathan and I are able to get some things done.

Now that we're almost 2 months in. Caroline is such a sweet mellow child. She still likes to sleep a lot, and when she's awake she's not too fussy unless she's really sleepy and can't seem to fall asleep. She's started to smile and coo a lot, and that's always fun to see. She lights up when she sees me, and I gotta say that feels good. She had jaundice that we just couldn't seem to kick so the doc told us to feed her formula for 36 hours. It wasn't easy, because unlike Bonnie she hasn't taken to bottles well. But we made it through it, and I gotta say I was super glad to be breastfeeding her again (it's so much easier to soothe her that way). She likes the swing much better then Bonnie did, and we've been successful with using a paci more than we were with Bonnie.

Speaking of Bonnie, she's so sweet with Caroline. We have her give the baby kisses before bedtime and she loves to do that before any of us get kisses. She always tries to give Caroline blankets and paci's even if she doesn't need them. Like any 1.5 year old she doesn't know her own strength so she'll sometimes pat her too hard or try to touch her eye to say "eye" but she does love her. She says "baby" a lot, and if you say Caroline she'll point to her. Yesterday Caroline was in the bouncy seat and Bonnie was dancing around in front of her. Caroline was smiling and cooing at her sister and it was the cutest thing!

I suppose that's it for now. We're doing well, and hope that things keep going as smoothly as they have been.

A Day in the Life...

I'm so glad to be participating in "A Day in the Life" on Ashley's blog! I've been reading her for a little over a year now and really enjoy getting a peek into other mother's lives. I blog over at Playing Parent, which started as a good way to track my pregnancy and give voice to being a mother. My own mother died when I was one and I loved anything of hers I could get my hands on. I would have loved to have her written words at my fingertips, so my blog is a way to ensure my children have a piece of me, no matter what.

My name is Wendy, and I live in South Carolina with my dashing husband Johnathan, our spoiled yorkie poo Jericho, and our precious daughter Bonnie. She is 10 months old now, and is a ball of energy! I'm a working Mom, but I get to work from home so my commute is super easy. Today you'll follow me through a Friday, which would normally be pretty boring, but I'm cheating because I'm pregnant again and today is our gender scan!

Let's begin:

5:45am- I hear Bonnie squeaking and showing general signs of wakefulness in her room. If she's not sounding unhappy I usually let her chill until one of two things happen: 1) She starts sounding unhappy or 2) It gets late enough that I've gotta get her dressed, fed, and ready for Grandma's house. But I can say without a doubt that 5:45 is not normal, and I was NOT getting up that early.

6:45am- I must have fallen back asleep, because when I wake up again it's silent. Bonnie must have actually fallen back to sleep herself, which is unusual because when she wakes up, she's usually awake for good. Part of me is in awe of this fact, and another part is starting to get worried because this never happens.

7am- I've waited as long as I can take it, I have to get up and peek in on her. I step into the room and look into her crib. She's laying on her side with her head away from her "Bonnie" pillow with nothing around her, so I know she's fine. I don't touch her for fear she'll wake up, and I wouldn't mind getting back in bed for a few minutes.

7:20am- I'm too excited about today to go back to sleep so I drag myself out of bed and go to the kitchen to mix her bottle. I made it about 5 months breastfeeding, but couldn't keep it up so she's been on formula ever since.

I take the bottle in her room and as I rustle around she starts to wake up a little. She does some cute little stretches and then I turn the lamp on and stand her up to wake her up further. I don't normally have the luxury of waking her up as she's usually bouncing up and down grinning from ear to ear when I walk in her room every morning.

Mid-stretch, not yet awake

Starting to wake-up more

"I'm awake now!"

I change her diaper and get her dressed for the day. We sit down in the chair and she has her bottle. She usually eats the rest of her breakfast with her Grandma at her house. When she's done I burb her and take the time to inspect her nails for clipping, she is in good shape today.

7:35am- I take her into the bedroom and plop her on the bed next to Johnathan. He would normally be gone to work by now, but he took the day off for the ultrasound. We spend some time playing with Bonnie, letting her bounce around, and generally being gleefully attacked by her.

7:45am- I take Bonnie into the living room and put her in her playpen while I prep her stuff. We are so lucky to have my mother-in-law watch Bonnie for us during the week while we work. I prepare a formula bottle for being put in the fridge at Grandma's. I also fill a formula dispenser with her other servings for the day. I put it all in her diaper bag. I also add about 6 nighttime diapers in the bag for a trial run. We use Pampers Swaddlers during the day and Pampers 12 hour at night. However, we've been having trouble with bad diaper rash and are hoping that switching to the 12 hour during the day might help.

8am- Grandma arrives to pick up Bonnie for the day. Normally it's a 5 minute process of picking up, discussing any details for the day, and she's off. However, since my husband is home he makes coffee for them and we sit around chatting for a while as Bonnie plays around the room. It started getting late so I went on with my normal process of taking Jericho out for a walk, coming in and showering, then logging onto my computer for work. Grandma takes our car with her and leaves her own vehicle (ours has the car seat). She lives just up the street so if I need anything throughout the day I can just give her a call.

8:45am- I log onto work (a little later then normal) and start taking care of business. We have to leave a little before 10:30 for our 11am ultrasound appt because we live in one city and have all my OB visits in another. I've been going to her well before we moved here and I didn't want to change.

9:11am- My MIL calls to talk about the new puffs she bought for Bonnie to eat, and how she incorporated those flavors into her baby cereal to make her eat more of that after tasting the puffs (cinnamon and maple). We also discuss the diaper rash issue for a bit.

10:30am- We stop at Starbucks so I can get a little bit of caffeine in me. The last thing I want is a sleeping baby with their legs crossed. I have a gender reveal dinner tomorrow with some friends and family and I certainly don't want to cancel it. I have a fun Willy Wonka golden ticket reveal planned.

11:00am- We get to the appt just in time and are immediately escorted back to the ultrasound room. This is also the checkup where they check all the arms, legs, face, brain, heart, etc. So we are in there a while. We were hoping for a boy, since we plan for this to be our last pregnancy and would love to have a well rounded family.

11:15am- It's a girl!!!! We don't even have a name picked out for a girl, only a boy name, so wow back to the drawing board! But yay! Bonnie will have a sister and we won't have to buy all new clothes! I always wanted a sister growing up! Bonnie and her sister will be 15 months apart and I'm guessing as close as can be (a mama can hope!).

12:30ish- We head out to grab some lunch at our favorite restaurant that we don't get to visit anymore because we live so far away. On the way we stop at the UPS store to drop off some gender scratch off cards for family who can't be at the dinner tomorrow.

I tease Facebook with the following: "We know the gender of our baby. Wouldn't you like to know? Too bad! You'll have to wait a few more days. Muahahaha. #MeanMama"

We get to the restaurant and greet our favorite waiter with double kisses, he's half Latin half Italian, it's what you do! We stuff our faces with Italian and discuss top three girl names.

1:30pm- I get a text from my MIL: "Bonnie just took 3 steps all by herself. Then squealed with her own happiness." I'm not upset about this because she's been taking steps for a while, so I didn't miss anything but it's still fun and cute to hear.

Playing at Grandma's

2pm- I'm way past due for getting back to work, so we head home so I can log back in.

3pm- Johnathan planned to clean his guns on his day off, with Bonnie out of the house. Seems fitting since we'll now have two girls to "protect" from potential suitors. :)

5pm- Grandma brings Bonnie home on the dot since we're both home. Normally she waits for a text from me letting her know I'm ready.

5:30pm- I start to feel nauseous so I crack open a ginger ale and make a run to the store for some crackers. This pregnancy the morning sickness hasn't been bad, but I still get bouts on into my second trimester. Johnathan plays with Bonnie while I get myself right again.

6pm- Fix some sweet potatoes and rice cereal for Bonnie and feed her in the dining room. I feed her some puffs as a side as well. She's gotten really good at throwing them on the floor for Jericho to eat, sigh.

Funny how Bonnie has her hand in the same position as the picture in the background

7pm- It's baby bedtime! Daddy gives her night night kisses and I take her back to her room for a diaper change, put on her PJs, turn on her sound machine (ocean sounds), and turn off the light. We sit in her chair and she gets her last bottle of the day. She usually falls asleep during the bottle but lately since we went away for a night she hasn't been doing that. So we have a session of what I call "Mommy Jujitsu". I hold her while she does a bunch of antics to try and stay awake. Grabs her foot and messes around. Takes her paci out and chews on it. Tries to hit or kick mommy in the face. Anything to distract herself. But Mommy Jujitsu always prevails. I withstand all of her moves while keeping quiet, and avoiding any major injury to myself. After about 10 minutes she always taps out, aka falls asleep.

7:30pm- I join Johnathan in the living room and we watch some Duck Dynasty. I realize we're sounding like total rednecks by now, but it's a fun show.

8:30pm- We fix dinner together, tonight he's having leftovers and I make something else for myself. (I'm keeping it secret because my endocrinologist might be reading this!)

9pm- Just as we're sitting down to eat, Bonnie wakes up crying. This doesn't happen very often, she usually sleeps right through. Johnathan goes back to try and soothe her while I scarf my food down. I am diabetic so I have to take insulin during dinner and I had already taken my shot so I have to eat my food. Unfortunately, Johnathan isn't successful at getting her back to sleep (he usually is), so I go back there and hold her back to sleep. We usually just lay her back down and soothe her, but sometimes that just won't do.

10pm - 12am- We putter around watching TV, looking up baby name stuff, and paint swatches online. I don't normally go to bed at 12 but somehow the day has gotten away from me. Lights out!

Ashley's Questions:

1. What is the most surprising thing to you about being a mom?

I'm constantly surprised at how it has changed my world view. Things that bothered me before, REALLY bother me now. Like when bad things happen to children on TV. I recently saw a picture of a military mom hugging her child sobbing and the second my eyes saw it, I was broken and crying. You never think that you're going to change all that much, other than knowing you'll love your children. I was not prepared to also love everyone elses children merely because I can put myself in the other parents place. I definitely feel like I'm in a club, which sounds silly but so true.

2. What advice would you give to new or soon-to-be mamas?

It's going to be SO hard in the beginning. People try to warn you, but there are just no words for it. Hormones run amuck, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding difficulties, unconditional love for a little helpless someone, etc. It took me a while to feel like myself again, and that can be scary. But your hormones will adjust, you'll somehow get use to less sleep, you'll figure out breastfeeding (and if you don't you'll discover formula), and your love will continue to grow. Soldier on Mama because in the end, it's so worth it!

3. What are your top three baby products?

-Boppy: I've used it every day since we brought her home, and if I had known better I would have had it with me in the hospital. Of course it's perfect for its intended use, but I also used it to sleep with her in the beginning when nothing else seemed to work. I just propped myself up, laid the Boppy on me, and laid her on the Boppy with my arms encircling her. Life saver!
- Diaper Genie: We've only had ours for about a month now. Before that we had a different brand that allowed you to use your own garbage bags. But it stank up the room something awful. The Diaper Genie has been a total nose saver!
- Wireless Camera: We don't use it as much anymore because I had it installed on her crib and she started ripping it off and throwing it on the floor. But when she first moved to her room it was fantastic. We could check on her via an app on our phones where ever we were. A few times we went to the movies after she was in bed, leaving her with her uncle and we could sneak peeks on her during the movie. Took care of our worries!

2 under 2

Yep, my eggo is preggo! We weren't going to try again until Bonnie turned 1 in January, but I guess God had different ideas. The due date is May 10th, but if last pregnancy was any indication the baby will be induced a week early. That'll make this one and Bonnie about 15 months apart...pray for me now!!

I knew there was a chance that I was pregnant due to an "incident" (overshare? too bad, you're all adults, get over it ;)), so a few days before my period was supposed to start I bought some EPT and took a test...it was negative. I could have waited but I wanted to know if I should be expecting my period or not. But the time for my period came and went and nothing. I thought, hmmm maybe because I tested late in the day? Another day passed and still no period. Thank goodness for 3 pack pregnancy tests! Early, early Monday morning as Johnathan was leaving for work I thought, what the hell I'll test again. I shouted for Johnathan, not sure if he had left yet. He popped up at one end of the hall, me at the other as I told him. I was a bit in shock, excited but thinking oh lord what have we done! We met in the middle for hugs and kisses, the excitement beginning to set in.

Obviously there are extra concerns for me when I get pregnant, extra things I have to go through. But I've already conquered that mountain once, I know I can do it again (maybe even with better grace this time). I know that usually the second pregnancy just isn't as magical as the first. We humans tend to get jaded pretty quickly once we've been there and done that. And sure, I might not read the daily info on my Baby Bump app, but I'll still be interested in what fruit/veg size the baby is each week. I'm actually looking forward to being pregnant again, I like the freedom of having a big belly and not caring :). I'm certainly hoping some things are different this time. I could do without the lower back pain and could REALLY do without the acid reflux. I guess only time will tell how this one is different.

We'll probably find out the gender just before Christmas, so the reveal to family will be fun! However, be warned. We'll share gender, but the name will not be shared until baby is born. We learned our lesson last time. We don't care what other people's opinions are and people tend to give those opinons less when there's a cute little baby to stare at.

That's all for now.

Written September 6th.

Birth Story- Bonnie's Big Day

I am pleased to announce the birth of Bonnie Lawrence! Born on Wednesday, January 25th at 9:33pm. She weighed 7lbs 3ounces and was 20.5 inches long. Sorry it's taken so long to update anything on here, but when you have a baby attached to you 24/7 it makes it difficult to type :).

The few days before we were scheduled to go in for the induction Johnathan and I were listless. We made it a point to go out to eat a few times, but otherwise we just didn't know what to do with ourselves. It's like waiting for the biggest moment you can think of, and feeling antsy and nervous for it all at the same time. On Monday we got Jericho groomed so that when we brought Bonnie home he wouldn't stink up the place.

Tuesday was the big day, so my goals that day were getting my hair done, getting us packed, and eating a good meal before the hospital.  It may seem silly and frivolous for me to get my hair done, but it was necessary. I got it colored (which was overdue) and had it blown out nice and straight. I'd put some thought into how I would look being at the hospital for several days. I decided that I didn't want to have my hair in a pony tail the whole time, because Johnathan prefers my hair down. Curly wasn't really an option because the minute I sleep on it, it becomes a rats nest. My best choice was straight hair because that looks better for a  longer period with little maintenance. We women know that the hair stylist always does a better job then we can do ourselves and I wanted it to LAST! I don't regret it at all! I didn't look like a ragamuffin the whole time in the hospital AND I gave myself a relaxing treat on a day when I knew pain was right around the corner.

After the hair appointment I came back home and we finished packing up our two bags: one for delivery and one for recovery per the hospitals request. We ended up having both bags in the delivery room though, because you just can't plan what you'll need, and of course as people had warned me we didn't need most of it. But I digress...

We then dropped Jericho off at the in-laws and drove into the city. Traffic was bad but we changed routes a few times and made our way to Boston Market. It ended up being a good choice for a meal. It was inexpensive, quick, and the food is always good. We finished with plenty of time to spare, getting to the hospital a good 15 minutes earlier than we needed to be.

They took us to our room and told me to change into the robe. I asked if I could wear the one I'd brought and the lady said I'd have to ask my nurse. I sat around waiting for the nurse for a while, but Johnathan thought I should at least put on their gown and then ask. So I did:

But the nurse finally came in and said mine was ok, so I was happy. Even though you could still see my butt in mine, it was still a million times better. They warned me it would get ruined but I said I didn't care. And happy surprise, it didn't.

We weren't too keen on this nurse, she wasn't very pleasant. And isn't that just the luck, to get a cranky nurse! She started with putting the monitors on me, very much like the NST with a heart monitor and a contraction monitor. I apparently had to keep those on the entire time unless I was going to the bathroom. To put the monitors on she threw the blankets back revealing my lady parts to the whole room (granted that was just her and Johnathan but still), I kept covering up and she kept revealing. I know at some point you have to have no shame in these situations, but I hadn't reached that point yet. Then she started an IV in my left arm. If I had thought about it I would have had her do the right side because I ended up having to sign some papers and couldn't grip the pen very well. The IV sucked! It made it very difficult for me to bend my wrist or push up with that hand, and as you can see the aftermath wasn't pretty.

This IV provided me with fluids and the Pitocin that would start my productive contractions. They started that at a low dose that night, and planned to jack it up in the morning to get the real work started. The nurse explained to me that they would have to put another IV in my right arm to provide me with an insulin drip to control my blood sugars. Knowing how the first IV felt, I was LESS than thrilled about this development.

The good news was that night they decided I could take my insulin like normal and wouldn't have to be connected to the second IV just yet. But that opened up a whole new can of worms when the pharmacy told the nurse that there was no way I would be taking 82 units of the insulin I said I needed. They said I asked for fast acting insulin and that would be very dangerous in that dose. Of course, I didn't actually bring that med with me so I pulled up my pharmacy records on my phone and showed her, but it didn't say dosage so it didn't help her. Then we called Johnathan's mom and asked her to go and look at my bedside to verify, and she did but again the dosage wasn't on the bottle. FINALLY the pharmacy was like, oh is it Novalin N? And I said, yes. So unbeknownst to me, there's more than one type of Novalin. I just thought there was Novalog which is fast acting and Novalin which is slow acting. Dr. S always called my bedtime insulin N but I didn't think to mention it to them. Once we got that resolved (frustrating!), they gave me a snack, an Ambian and it was off to sleepy land. Well, as much as possible with two IV sites (yes they went ahead and put the IV leads in my right hand that night) and baby monitors stuck on me. Every time I had to go to the bathroom, we had to unhook the monitors and roll the IV cart into the bathroom with me.

Wednesday morning dawned, and a new nurse brightened our room. Her name was June and she was like the Mary Poppins of nurses. Night and day (pun intended) from the previous nurse. We started upping my Pitocin and she hooked up the insulin drip, which meant my blood sugar had to be tested every hour. That was a whole other bummer because their tester required a lot more blood then mine and took longer to read. I wish they would have let me test myself, and next time I may insist on it. I like to test in my thumbs because it hurts less, but I can say they looked like mincemeat when all was said and done. Plus you should have seen the ballet we had to perform for me to go to the bathroom with two separate IV carts, it took all three of us.

As the day progressed I kept having more and more contractions but they weren't painful which meant they weren't progressing my cervix. The doctor (not Dr. N she wasn't on call) was thinking that because I wasn't making progress that they'd probably give me until 4 and if I still hadn't dilated they'd dial  back the Pitocin, feed me and try again the next day. That wasn't appealing to me. I'd gotten used to the idea of her birthday being 1/25 and I didn't want to have to go through another night of this.

Who knows if it was mind over matter, or simply them increasing the Pitocin past the max but around 3 the contractions started becoming painful. I asked for the epidural, but when they checked I was still only 1cm dilated so I couldn't get it. They decided to give me another pain med in my IV instead. I can't for the life of me remember what it was called but it certainly did a number on me. Made me very sleepy, but it did take off the edge of the contractions. By this time Johnathan was sitting directly by me and whenever I had a contraction he'd let me squeeze his hand hard and he'd fan me with my little woven fan (that thing has been with me during some important times, on my wedding day and my baby's delivery). That connection through his hand was honestly what helped me through the pain, with a little help from the drugs.

In a daze

By around 4:30 June decided to check me again and I'd dilated to 2.5 or 3 which was enough for the epidural (yay!). Maybe I was just in a daze, but the doctor seemed to come in quickly and I was very thankful to have the epidural.

They broke my water soon after that, and noticed there was some meconium in it. That means the baby had a bowel movement in the womb and would need to be checked out immediately upon delivery to make sure she didn't inhale any of it. I'd often childishly said that I didn't want my babies placed directly on my chest when I deliver because they're icky, but since being pregnant I had changed my mind about that. I guess nature had the last laugh and my childishness had it's way.

The next few hours was a lot of me dozing in and out from a combo of exhaustion, drugs, and epidural. June left us at 7 and we got our second angel nurse Michelle. She was the opposite of June in that she was young and perky but I think that's what we needed. Around 8 or so she checked my dilation and surprise, I was fully dilated! She had someone else come in to double check because they were surprised at how quickly I had progressed. Confirmed! It was time to start pushing. Remember I mentioned my messed up pedicure and how I planned to wear cute knee socks!? Yeah, those lasted about 10 minutes into pushing. Every time I put my feet down they'd start slipping on the bed, no traction. So I took them off and just stared at my busted toenails instead...however the socks did leave heart impressions in my legs for a while :).

Michelle warned me that pushing might take a couple of hours, but again I wasn't having that. The pushing was my least favorite part. I knew it was the only thing that was going to bring my baby into this world, but man it made me feel really light headed. If you know me, you know I'm stubborn so I made sure my pushing was productive and I got Bonnie ready to go in about 45 minutes. Johnathan was of course being a huge help the whole time. Holding one of my legs during pushes, encouraging me, and putting a cold cloth on my forehead and fanning me in between. Granted I had to ask for the cloth and the fan each time because he kept getting distracted, but that's understandable. Side note: when they ask you to breath through the contractions and not push so the doctor can come...that sucks worse than pushing!

As Bonnie was coming out Michelle said, "Oh wow! Look at that blonde hair!" She looked at us a little shocked, because Johnathan and I are obviously brunettes, but we explained that we suspected that. We were both blondes until we were about 6 years old. Also, my dad is a blonde and the women on Johnathan's fathers side are blondes.

The doctor came in and got suited up for the final push. I'm pretty sure it was just one push and Bonnie was on her way out, but they had me stop pushing midway because, surprise her cord was around her neck. Her heart rate never went down to indicate that, so the doctor was really surprised. Johnathan says he swears he saw the cord before the doctor did. She apologized that he couldn't cut the cord and she took care of it quickly, so I didn't have time to be scared. Out she came, and they took her over to the warming area to check her out. Everything checked out fine with her and her lungs. We waited patiently for my placenta, it took its sweet time and then I got sewed up. Apparently only 2nd degree tearing, which to me sounds great because I was really nervous it would be worse. The nurses all exclaimed at Bonnie's brown eyes and I assured them that was not possible considering I had blue and Johnathan had green. Turns out her eyes are a dark gray blue. But seriously, NOT something you want to hear haha.

After everything was said and done, Bonnie and I had some skin to skin time until about 10:30 because we had to wait an hour to feed her. They needed to test her blood sugar to make sure it was ok and it was 95 which was great! Bonnie has continued to perform perfectly throughout the entire pregnancy, delivery, and afterwards. Passing all of her tests with flying colors. I worked very hard to make sure that she had every opportunity to be healthy, and I can honestly say I'm so proud of myself.



The first time, ever I saw her face

Skin to Skin

We were finally transferred to our after labor room, where there was a proper sleep area for Johnathan (not much better than what he had before though) and I was able to get some food in me. Johnathan went to the cafeteria and got me hot dogs, yum! The next few days were a blur of nurses, aids, food people, visitors, etc. The first night nurse was again not very likable but the rest of the time we had fantastic nurses, thanks Kimiko and Jenny! Of course the diabetes was an issue and they kept on my case about my meds and my blood sugars and what I ate (so annoying). We were allowed to leave around 3 on Friday, they were waiting for Bonnie to have just one more bowel movement, but they weren't overly concerned so they let us go. And boy were we ready to get outta there. Of course, not fully realizing that the real work was yet to come.

Oh, these fingers are familiar!

Bright eyed but no bushy tail

Johnathan was pulling the car around, so I had some time sitting in the first floor entrance. That day there was a lady playing the grand piano so I asked if she could play Claire de Lune, one of my favorites that was played at our wedding and is on Bonnie's CD. As she played, Bonnie reached out and wrapped her hand around my finger for the first time. It took everything in me not to start crying right then and there. It was a beautiful moment that I'll never forget.

That's not to say I didn't start sobbing in the car on the way home, but that's a story for another day.

Suck it Mayans! 2012 Is Gonna Rock!

Happy New Year everyone! I'm not really one to make a big deal about years changing or make New Year's resolutions but this one feels special. 2011 was a big year for us, we bought a new house and moved to a new state (only just over the border, but still). We conceived our precious little one and I lovingly carried her for most of the year. I've had trials and tribulations with taking care of my diabetes while pregnant. I've drawn blood in my fingers 4 times a day for about 5.5 months (that's close to 660 times). I've shot myself with insulin countless times (up to 4 times a day for a while now). I've counted carbs and watched what I ate and felt guilty when I allowed myself to eat more than I should have. I've had more ultrasounds than I can count, which are always fun but also take up lotsa time.

All building up to this year...2012. The year of Baby B! The year that Johnathan and I become parents and change our lives forever. This yearly change feels like it means something, that it's not just another ho-hum rolling of the calendar. Johnathan has a New Year's resolution to be the most awesomest Dad ever, and I have no doubt he'll do it. We're both looking forward to our time in the hospital together, working together to bring Baby B into the world. I feel that his role supporting me is almost as important as my role. And we're especially looking forward to spending time at home after she's here getting to know her and loving her. We both get 3 months off from work and words can't explain how excited we are for that. 2012 MEANS SOMETHING and we're ready for it.

I had an OB appointment today, the normal ultrasound/NST combo. This time they measured her in the ultrasound, and she's measuring approximately 6 lbs 9 ounces which seems to be on track. The sonographer said Baby B's head looked like a normal size, so thank goodness she didn't inherit Johnathan's big noggin. Baby B passed all the tests they threw at her with flying colors, so I think she takes after me with her need to achieve :). Had another cervix check because the NST showed contractions and I'm still softening with 1cm dilation (she said I was 1 cm last time too which was news to me). I have 2 more ultrasounds/NST scheduled, and THEN they're going to induce me the week of Jan. 23rd!!! Don't have a date yet, but I can now plan for that week! Unless Baby B decides to escape early.

Sugar Issues, Sounds Fun but It's Not!

Since I've last posted I've had a few doctors appointments, I'm at once a week these days. At each appointment I have an ultrasound and an non-stress test. In each visit and test Baby B has tested very well. On the biophysical she scores 8 each time. And in her non-stress test her heartbeat is strong. They said I had a few contractions on the Dec. 23rd NST so they checked my cervix. She said it was softening but no big change, which is about right for how far along I am.

One development in the Dec. 23rd appointment was that Dr. N continues to be concerned that my fasting blood sugars haven't been cooperating. She said she was going to reach out to my endocrinologist (Dr. S) to discuss, and she insinuated that she might want to hospitalize me to get it under control. That feels very drastic to me. It's not like Baby B is measuring very large and my blood sugar is pretty level all the rest of the time. Dr. S called me that night to discuss and asked that I start testing my blood sugar in the middle of the night and earlier in the morning. I suppose lucky for me, my sleeping is so erratic I don't even have to set an alarm to wake up at 2 or 3am because I do it naturally. He wanted to track if I'm high in the middle of the night too. If so, he's going to recommend a get put on an insulin pump to control my levels better. Honestly, I feel like both hospitalization and an insulin pump are a bit drastic considering how close I am to delivery.

I'd be lieing if I didn't say this whole situation has caused me quite a bit of stress, and I've had moments where I've cried because my blood sugar wasn't where I'd want it to be. On top of that, my bedtime insulin had to change because my insurance company won't cover what I'd been taking anymore. The kind I have to take now requires a syringe instead of using a pen. Plus the only needle they carry is twice as long as what I'd been using. I didn't cry about that change, but I was pretty angry about it. I now have been taking about 70 units at bedtime splitting them into two shots with the hopes that my body will take it better. The last few nights my blood sugar has been much better. Although a few times it was really low in the middle of the night so I ate something to be sure I didn't get too severe of low blood sugar.

I suppose we'll see how all that develops. In the meantime, the holidays were nice and relaxing. Johnathan and I had a few days of complete laziness that included watching a lot of Netflix. There have been a few moments of me not feeling well, but that probably just comes along with the late pregnancy territory.

Baby B 35w4days. She's a big fan of having her foot by her face.

Due Date: January 30, 2012. 32 more days! Depending on how things develop, we'll see if it's earlier.

Weight Gain: I've gained about 14 lbs.

Symptoms: Getting tired quicker (had to leave the in laws Christmas party at 11 while everyone else kept partying on), sleeping back pain, and stupid heart burn (this is the worst!) . She's started pushing on me in uncomfortable ways, last night it was the ribs (and just when I had been thinking how lucky I was not to have that issue).

Cravings/Aversions: Still crunching away on ice. There are other cravings that involve things I can't have, so it's not exactly something I indulge in.

Sleep: Not only do I wake up regularly to go to the bathroom and/or test my blood sugar, but I deal with the acid reflux waking me up and/or just not being able to sleep. Anyone who says catch up on your sleep now, must not remember how hard that can be.

I am loving: My current vacation time. Been off since Dec. 21 and won't go back until Jan. 3. Johnathan and I have had great opportunity to spend time together.

I miss: Not thinking about my food so much, putting my shoes on without effort, and rolling over without effort.

I am looking forward to: My next ultrasound on Jan. 3rd. They'll weigh her again then.

Best thing about this week: Relaxing as much as I can.

Milestones: Hmm not sure there has been one.

Movement: Her movements are less kicks and more just moving around. I guess she doesn't have much room to kick or punch.

It's a...: girl!

Heart Burn: Ugh, so much! I'm starting to have favorite Tums flavors (peppermint). I've also started using Gaviscon before bedtime. It does help with the acid, even if it is gross.

Belly button in or out?: Eh, it's a weird hybrid. I will admit to putting bandaids on my belly button to keep the poke out down to a minimum :).

Labor signs?: Nothing serious. I've started having some Braxton Hicks contractions, but they're weird and seem to last longer than I would expect. I'm nervous I won't know the real thing when it starts.

This, That, and the Baby

I think I'm going to dedicate this post to a few random thoughts I've had lately and a few doctors appointments that I've had.

• I know people mean well when they tell a pregnant woman that her and her husband will have a beautiful baby, but what does it mean?! Of course you're not going to look at a pregnant woman and say, "You're going to have such an ugly baby." Oh, people don't have a problem knocking your baby's name, that's within bounds, but I don't think anyone would be so bold as to insult how your child will look. I'm not worried, of course we'll have a beautiful baby :) but it was just a thought I had.
• In the quiet times, when I'm reading or watching tv or just being I sometimes have small moments of panic. I'm so excited for Baby B and really can't wait to meet her but those moments really bring home the fact that my life will never be the same. When I get those quiet moments again, they'll be few and far between. The era of ME will be over. Everyone goes through this, I'm sure. And I know that my love of her will take over any feeling of "loss" that, right now, I think I'll feel. But I will miss those times, a little :).
• Most women don't plan to deliver until their due date or after. Because of my diabetes I know I won't go past my due date, but I know that going early is a real possibility too. That's causing me a bit of stress, not really knowing when I'll deliver. It makes me write off all of January and makes me feel so much pressure to get things ready before then. Baby B has been developing perfectly, and isn't even too big so I don't know why I think I'll go early. But one thing I've learned from this gestational diabetes process is I can't control what will happen. If you know me at all, I like control. Losing it is hard on me.
• I had my monthly appointment with my endocrinologist on Thursday. As you know, I've been having issues with my fasting blood sugars being too high so we mostly discussed that. My a1c is 5 which is still non-diabetic so that's good. It means my fasting blood sugars aren't high for very long. He thinks my bedtime insulin just isn't holding it's own for long enough. So he's asked me to test earlier and eat breakfast earlier. He casually mentioned that if I was high for longer the next step would be an insulin pump, which I can say scared me. With only 7 more weeks to go, I think I'd have to fight that. Especially since I won't have to take insulin after I deliver. Anyway, we're just keeping on with the normal process. Insulin at the meals and bedtime, just increasing at bedtime as necessary. He said I'm not perfect, but I'm as close as can be expected.
• I had my weekly visit to the OB on Friday for an ultrasound and non-stress test. I was 10 minutes late which was pretty stressful for me. I think that contributed to my blood pressure being higher than normal. Luckily it wasn't outside of the accepted range. The ultrasound included measuring her for size and doing a biophysical profile. The biophysical is when the sonographer watches the baby for certain movement and scores her from 1-8. If she scores below a 6 I'd have to go to the hospital for more observation. Baby B scored an 8. Her measurements were about a week and a half ahead which is fine and honestly I'm not surprised. Before we visited the doctor for the first time we thought we were a week ahead of what they settled on anyway. Baby B weighed 5 lbs 9 oz! But the best reveal at the ultrasound was that she has HAIR! The NST took longer than normal because Baby B was asleep and didn't seem to want to wake up. They like to see higher heart rates and more movement. They buzzed her three times and it took the last one to get her going a little bit. Next week I'll make sure and have some caffeine before I go in. 

It's hard to see, but it's the hair proof!

33 weeks (8.5 months)

Due Date: January 30, 2012. 44 more days!

Weight Gain: I've gained about 12 lbs. I weighed 2 lbs more than my last appointment. However, the baby also gained 2 lbs so I'm thinking it's all her.

Symptoms: Starting to get tired quicker, sleeping back pain, and stupid heart burn (this is the worst!) . The bathroom is my BFF what with all the visits I've been making to it.

Cravings/Aversions: Still crunching away on ice. There are other cravings that involve things I can't have, so it's not exactly something I indulge in.

Sleep: Starting to get worse. I wake up far more often especially around 1am. It's weird that I find I wake up around the same times every night.

I am loving: Knowing that Baby B is growing and developing as she should.

I miss: Not thinking about my food so much, putting my shoes on without effort, and rolling over without effort.

I am looking forward to: The hospital tour tomorrow.

Best thing about this week: Learning about Baby B's hair! It was long enough to be floating in the amniotic fluid. Also, we found the pack and play we registered for on sale.

Milestones: We picked up the crib yesterday. Now if only we (Johnathan) can get motivated enough to put it together. They tend to be a pain!

Movement: Her movements are less kicks and more just moving around. I guess she doesn't have much room to kick or punch.

It's a...: girl!

Heart Burn: Ugh, so much! I'm starting to have favorite Tums flavors (peppermint).

Belly button in or out?: In still. But the edge is poking out in a funny way, which almost gives the appearance of an outtie. I gotta say, it's rare to get such an in depth look at the bottom of your belly button.

Labor signs?: Nope, not even Braxton Hicks contractions

When It Showers It Pours...

This has been a big week for me! Sunday I finally had my baby shower and today I had my first non-stress test at the OB (I have to get another on Thursday but I'll get into that later).

My aunt, mother-in-law, and 2 friends pooled their resources to throw the baby shower for me at my aunt's house. There was food, and games, and presents. An all around good time. I had the biggest slice of cake imaginable, which I'm sure wasn't good for my diabetes but it sure was delicious! We got a lot of things that we needed and some things we didn't need but love all the more. Of course, being the type A personality that I am I came home and made a list of all the things we still need and will buy ourselves, along with prices listed. It never hurts to be prepared! I feel like the baby shower was my last big hurdle before the baby comes, now I'm feeling all kinds of pressure to get everything done before she comes. I'll share pictures of the event once I get my hands on them.

Today's non-stress test was the first for me. Basically they hook some things to your belly and track the baby's heartbeat and any contractions for 20 minutes. I push a button every time I feel her move. They just want to be sure things are ticking along with her. When we started her heartbeat was between 140 - 145 and she wasn't really moving. I warned the nurse that she doesn't move a whole lot in the morning. The nurse came in after a few minutes and said, "Yep, she's sleeping" and pulled out a vibrating buzzer thing. She put it to my belly for a few seconds and Baby B jolted awake! Her heartbeat jumped to 165 and she started moving a lot. I felt kinda bad for her. Who wants to be woken up that way!? Her results over the 20 minute period were good, with no concerns.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of being honest with my OB about my fasting blood sugars. They haven't been cooperating for months now. They're supposed to be below 90 and I'm lucky if I get that result twice a week. Generally it's in the 90s and sometimes in the low hundreds. My endocrinologist and I have been trying our best to get it under control with my bedtime insulin (I'm up to 54 units right now), but it's just not working. My overall blood sugar is good, but the fasting is an issue.

Dr. N heard that and decided we need to monitor the baby more closely. She wants me to have 2 non-stress tests a week, unless I have an ultrasound then I'll only need one non-stress test that week. So we've scheduled another NST for this week, and ultrasound and NST for next week and the week after that. She said they usually don't schedule NSTs on Friday's in case they have to admit the patient to the hospital, which opens up a whole other can of worms in my mind. I'm not worried about Baby B, she's been healthy this whole time. And I don't think she'll have to be delivered in 2011 but what if!? We're totally not prepared for that! I know it's better safe then sorry, but it's just a little overwhelming so early in my third trimester.

THANK GOD for my work. If I didn't work for such a good company I'd be stressed about all the time out of work I have to take. But they are so easy-going and flexible with my schedule. I cannot imagine what women do when they don't have that kind of support.



32 weeks and smaller than the Christmas tree!

Due Date: January 30, 2012. 55 more days!

Weight Gain: I've gained about 10 lbs. I weighed 2 lbs more than on Nov. 25th but I was wearing high heel boots this time, so I'm thinking no weight gain.

Symptoms: Starting to get tired quicker, sleeping back pain, and stupid heart burn. The bathroom is my BFF what with all the visits I've been making to it.

Cravings/Aversions: I'm starting to crave bad foods. It's becoming harder and harder to resist. Also, ice! I can crunch on ice all day long!

Sleep: Starting to get worse. I wake up far more often.

I am loving: All the love I got at the baby shower!

I miss: Not thinking about my food so much.

I am looking forward to: Having this beautiful baby.

Best thing about this week: BABY SHOWER!!!!

Milestones: Being a little bit more prepared then we were last week.

Movement: We felt hiccups last week! It was fun and she didn't stop when Johnathan tried to feel.

It's a...: girl!

Heart Burn: Ugh, so much! I'm starting to have favorite Tums flavors. Really, that shouldn't happen!

Belly button in or out?: In still. But the edge is poking out in a funny way, which almost gives the appearance of an outtie. I gotta say, it's rare to get such an in depth look at the bottom of your belly button.

Labor signs?: Nope.

Giving thanks...

We had a busy week! It was my bright idea to host Thanksgiving this year because we had a new bigger house and could manage it. Of course, I decided that before I knew I would be almost 8 months pregnant at Thanksgiving. Poor Johnathan had to do most of the work, although I tried my best to do my fair share. Regardless of all the hard work we put into it, we are so greatful to have the ability, opportunity, and fantastic friends and family to do this.

We spent Tuesday night doing a thorough cleaning. He mainly worked on the kitchen (because lets admit it, it's his domain not mine) and I spruced up the rest of the house. I swept, vacuumed, and steamed all our floors...among other things. Boy did my back hurt at the end of it! Which of course was made worse when I went to bed, because now when I sleep my lower right back starts hurting. We didn't just clean the common areas, but also the guest rooms because we were having our first serious house guests! My brother, his wife, their new baby, and her parents stayed. So those rooms had to be clean and set-up.

Wednesday evening we went to dinner with our house guests and then started prepping some food. I made my "famous" pumpkin pies and some scratch mashed potatoes (Pioneer Woman recipe). Johnathan prepped a lot of the appetizers that he wanted to make. I think he takes on too much, we didn't need all of those, but he loves doing it and so it's a must. He was up til 4 or so cooking and cleaning.

Thursday was the big day. We woke up and fixed breakfast for our guests: waffle, egg, cheese, and bacon sandwiches with a side of liver mush because my bro now lives in Texas and doesn't get it a lot. Then the real food prep began. We decided to make 2 turkeys because we were having 20 guests and wanted to ensure there was enough for everyone. Of course it was overkill but you live you learn. We had a lot of our guests bring food to help us out, and Johnathan's mom made a lot (green beans, pork loin, apple pies) and helped a lot by allowing one of the turkeys in her oven. It was loud, crazy, and fun.

The Menu
Appetizers- shrimp and asparagus in filo, deconstructed jalapeno poppers in filo, mushroom/spinach/cream cheese/sausage dip in filo, corn/peppers/onions/black beans/feta cheese dip with chips, and mini crab cakes (homemade)
Main- turkey, pork loin, gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans, homemade cranberry sauce, dressing, mac and cheese, cornbread (plain and spicy), and sweet potato casserole
Dessert- homemade apple pie and pumpkin pie

We also had a 3 month old and a 5 month old to nibble on and fawn over. Both of them are and were fantastic babies. They're my niece and nephew, so that puts the pressure on me to have a baby just as cute and just as mild mannered #bitingmyfingernails.

Johnathan worked so hard cooking and cleaning (I helped a little with the cleaning but was so tired). I'm hoping he had fun and doesn't just think back on all the hard work he put into it. He stayed up until 3:30 cleaning because he just can't bring himself to leave a mess like that. That wouldn't have been so bad if we didn't have to get up at 7:30 the next morning for an ultrasound.

I've been getting them about once a month to keep tabs on the baby's weight, just to be sure she's not getting too big (a complication with gestational diabetes). She was measuring about a week ahead, but the tech said they allow for up to 2.5 weeks ahead, so she's doing good. She weighs 3 lbs 12 oz which is the 45th percentile. So she's right on track, yay for a healthy baby!! She's been head down for a while, so let's hope she stays in that position and doesn't try to go breech. Also, my amniotic fluid, placenta, and cervix all looked great! There weren't as many fun shots to get of her, because the bigger they get the harder it is to see the whole picture. But Johnathan was able to be there again because he was off work, so that was nice! Even though he was like a zombie he was so tired.



This is at least the 3rd time we've caught her with her foot by her face. She seems to like playing with her feet.


Ok I've been slack and haven't taken any belly pics. I'm sure there's some to be seen from Thanksgiving, but I won't get my hands on those for a few weeks. But I can say, I looked dang good in em! :)

Due Date: January 30, 2012. We are almost 31 weeks along, 64 more days!

Weight Gain: I've gained about 10 lbs. It's always nerve wrecking weighing yourself the day after Thanksgiving, but I didn't notice any change in my weight from my endocrinology appt last week.

Symptoms: Starting to get tired quicker and sleeping back pain. I can sleep on my side, no problem because that's how I normally sleep. But I find now that when I wake up to go to the bathroom or whatever, that I have a sharp pain in my lower right back. It makes walking a bit difficult right away.

Cravings/Aversions: Yeah, I can't say I followed my diet plan during this week/weekend very well. Many times I didn't even test my blood sugar because I knew it wouldn't be pretty.

Sleep: Actually not too bad!

I am loving: Feeling her move every day!

I miss: Being able to get around easily. I swear I've hit a belly growth spurt over the last day or so, and I know it's only going to get bigger!

I am looking forward to: My baby shower, it's coming up next weekend!

Best thing about this week: Hanging out with our family and loving on some adorable babies!

Milestones: 3rd Trimester

Movement: She's a good little mover. My fav is when she moves my whole belly. But seriously, she'll be moving up a storm and I'll get Johnathan to put his hand on my belly and she stops. I'm wondering if she chills out when she hears me talk. I may start using sign language to get him to feel.

It's a...: girl!

Heart Burn: Ugh, so much! I regularly take Tums throughout the night. And I recently learned a valuable lesson about not making Doritos my bedtime snack.

Belly button in or out?: In still. But the edge is poking out in a funny way, which almost gives the appearance of an outtie. Grrrr.

Labor signs?: Nope. Just the way I want it, although that resolve is starting to waiver as I get further and further along.

And the beat goes on...

I had an endocrinologist (diabetes specialist) appointment yesterday. I have them once a month in addition to emailing him my blood sugar test results weekly. Honestly, I feel like these monthly appointments are a bit of a waste of my time but I'm nothing if not dutiful. Usually it's a matter of weighing me, checking my blood pressure, checking my feet (diabetics can have issues with their feet), going over my medicines, and he tells me what my lab results are from bloodtests I have done a few days before.

Nothing much to report. With boots on I weighed about 12 lbs above where I started at pregnancy. Blood pressure and heartrate seemed fine. He was happy with my bloodsugars and my A1C was 4.8 for the third month in a row, which is better than some non-diabetics. One good thing to come out of the appointment is that he told me I could start giving my insulin shots in my thighs. So that'll save me some pain!

Now, on to the fun stuff!

Someone once recommended playing music when pregnant and sleeping, so that the baby would hear. That way if you play it during the baby's bedtime they'll know it's time to sleep. Whether this works remains to be seen, but it did lead us to create a CD for Baby B. We call it B's Beats (her name is where the B is). We tried to stick with sootheing piano music, some classical and some modern. We picked either classical artists that we appreciate or modern songs that had some kind of meaning to us, silly or otherwise.

Today, I added one song to the end that has singing (the only one). It's called 'Love is You', written for our wedding by Mary Jo Crandall and Jamie Henderson. They are gifted song writers and I wanted a nice way to have 1 Corinthians 13 incorporated into the ceremony without the normal recitation snoozefest. This song was written to convey our love for one another. Baby B was created out of that love and will experience that love every day of her life. I hope this song will remind her of that every time she hears it.

The Playlist

1. Nocturne in G Minor- Chopin
2. November Rain- Piano Tribute Players (because I used to love it, and just for kicks)
3. Moonlight Sonata- Mozart
4. Can't Help Falling in Love- Steve Siu (Johnathan is a huge Elvis fan)
5. Prelude for piano No. 4 in E Minor- Chopin
6. First Time Ever I Saw Your Face- Steve Siu
7. Nocturne #2 in E Flat- Chopin
8. A Thousand Miles- Steve Siu (because there is a scene in the movie White Chicks that Johnathan loves involving this song)
9. Piano Sonata #14 in C Sharp- Beethoven
10. What a Wonderful World- Steve Siu
11. Piano Sonata #5 in G Major- Mozart
12. Yellow- Steve Siu
13. Clair de Lune- Laura Sullivan
14. The Prayer- David Foster (played while I walked down the aisle. plus an amazing song asking for God's blessing)
15. Love is You- Mary Jo Crandall and Jamie Henderson

It's My Pregnancy and I'll Cry If I Want To

The day has just begun and it's already a rotten stinking day. I received an email from my endocrinologist overnight advising me to start taking insulin at lunch. I already take it at breakfast, dinner, and bedtime. I knew it would eventually happen at lunch too. As the pregnancy progresses it's normal to have to increase insulin intake. However, I didn't think that it was necessary yet. Yes, my blood sugars at lunch had been rising but they weren't over my limit of 130 yet. I guess he didn't like that they were going up, so now I have to take a shot then too.

It has gotten SO hard to take my shots. Half the time they hurt. Half the time they bleed. It takes all the willpower I have to just make my hand stab myself and hope it doesn't hurt. Three times a day was enough for me. Not only that, but it means I have to carry a needle with me every time I walk out of the house for a meal.

I know deep down it's my fault that I'm diabetic. I ate myself into this situation. Even though it's hereditary I could have held it off for longer. So at the end of the day, feeling sorry for myself shouldn't really be allowed. But I can't help it. I do feel sorry for myself. This sucks! I'll say it again, this sucks! That is all. *slight sobbing was involved in the writing of this blog*

In the beginning...

Ok, so the blog title is a bit of a misnomer. Yes, this is my FIRST blog post EVER, but it's certainly not the beginning of my journey to motherhood. Today I am actually 26 weeks 3 days pregnant, with only 96 more days to go! I know it's strange to start a blog in the middle of a pregnancy, in fact, I'm super jealous of other women's blogs that start with a picture of a positive pregnancy test (I don't have a picture of any of my !5!). I've always liked to write and thought that I had a knack for it but haven't ever taken it seriously. I thought I'd maybe start a blog once I had my first child because then I might have stories to tell. But then I got pregnant and started trolling the Internet for pregnant woman blogs. I wanted to gather experience and information from women in the thick of things who could give me an idea of what to expect...when expecting :). I've probably read close to 30 pregnancy/mommy blogs since June. I think I'm not going to look for any more. I've probably read almost every birth scenario possible, not including the ones I've seen on Baby's First Day (TLC). So I feel relatively prepared for what's to come, or as prepared as a person can be in this situation. Now the time has come for me to start documenting my own journey, for several reasons:

1. Maybe my unique situation can help another women who is pregnant and diabetic
2. I think my friends and family might like a little peek into what's going on around here
3. I want to remember this time in our lives, and maybe my children can come back and read these posts some day. I, more than anyone, know how beautiful it can be to have something of your/ your parent's story to embrace when they're not around

So here goes...

I had an ultrasound and OB appointment yesterday. An ultrasound in the 26th week of pregnancy isn't normal but since I'm diabetic they like to keep an eye on the baby's weight. Diabetes can cause the baby to grow too big, so they want to be sure things are progressing as they should. Since Johnathan had to work, I took Carol (his mother) along with me. Even though she's seen ultrasound pictures, I think there's nothing like being able to see the baby move to make it even more real. The baby was moving quite a bit, and had her feet in her hands just like last time. It seems to be her favorite past time. Carol said that Johnathan used to do that all the time, so that was a neat little tidbit of information. The ultrasound tech was able to get a really good face picture even though it wasn't 3D. Later that night I decided that she has Johnathan's eyes, or at least the shape of them. She measured at 2.3 lbs, which is about 6 days ahead. So nothing to worry about yet. The doctor visit itself was fine, uneventful. Carol seems to like Dr. N so that's good, can't have cat fights in the hospital :).

I've always liked Dr. N because she reminds me of a woman who lived in my neighborhood when I was growing up, who was my mother's best friend when my mother was alive. However, I have noticed a pattern of behavior with her, that rubs me the wrong way. She gets on my case about my blood sugar levels, even though I have an endocrinologist who advises me quite well on that. My blood sugars have been fantastic for a gestational diabetic, in fact they've been really good for a non-diabetic. My a1c which measures blood sugar levels over 3 months has been 4.8 for the last two months. That's better than most non-diabetics. But every time I see her, she has something negative to say about some freak result. I mentioned that my fasting blood sugars have been high lately. She asked what the highest reading has been and I said 120 (it's supposed to be below 90). She then proceeded to tell me that's too high and blahblahblah. I can't remember what she said because I shut down when she does that.  Of course I know it's too high! I beat myself up about it EVERY TIME I have a bad fasting result. The worst part of being hard on myself is that I can't do anything that I'm not already doing to fix it. I'm supposed to have a bedtime snack...I do. I'm supposed to take my meds at bedtime (Metformin pill and insulin shot)...I do. Up my insulin dose as my endocrinologist recommends each week...I do. I'm now at 39 units of insulin at bedtime, just to get my fasting blood sugars under control. The problem with being a pregnant diabetic is that as soon as the plecenta starts growing your endocrin system goes crazy. Meaning I can be doing all the right things: diet, excercise, meds and my blood sugar will still go out of wack. What I don't need is someone else to beat me up over something I can't control! Other than that, she's a peach! Sorry this post is so long, but it is the FIRST! I'll end with an ultrasound picture and a pregnancy survey to track my changes.

Due Date: January 30, 2012 (unless she gets too big and I have to be induced. The doctor told me I WILL NOT go past my due date because they won't let me)

Weight Gain: This is a tricky one to answer. Once I became pregnant I started on a diabetic diet which caused me to lose weight. I've only recently started gaining again. So if we're basing this off of my pre-pregnancy weight I've gained about 5-7 lbs.

Symptoms: Feeling pretty good! This is the magic season, the second trimester. I sometimes feel something like growing pains, but that's nothing serious.

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing specific. I'm getting bored with my diet though. I long for the days of not having to watch every dang thing I put in my mouth! Johnathan works all day on Sunday's so I try to use those days to indulge in random cravings (within diabetic reason).

Sleep: It's not perfect, but it could be worse. I wake up a couple times a night to pee, but can usually fall back asleep quickly...unless Johnathan is snoring.

I am loving: Being able to feel her move and kick. It brings such a peace of mind.

I miss: not counting carbs.

I am looking forward to: all of the holidays coming up! I couldn't have planned this pregnancy better! The last bit is always so slow because all you're looking forward to is the baby arriving. Well lucky me! I have things to look forward to before she comes. We're so busy that Johnathan suggested we buy a calendar. One with babies, puppies, and firemen

I'm spazzing about: my fasting blood sugar...just a little

Best thing about this week: getting to see our little girl again in the ultrasound

Milestones: I suppose the fact that we reached double digits in the days to go countdown

Movement: Yes, happening pretty frequently! Johnathan even gets to catch her sometimes.

It's a...: girl!

Exercise: Eh. I wasn't really doing much before the pregnancy so I didn't want to stress the bod. I walk Jericho up the street 3 times a day. That seems to do the trick.

Heart Burn: A little. Nothing a little Tums can't handle

Belly button in or out?: In….barely! Each week my innie is getting smaller and smaller.

Labor signs?: Nope. Just the way I want it!